Capacity

the push and pull of being capable versus having the capacity

I have been thinking a lot about the word CAPACITY lately.

Merriam-Webster defines ‘capacity’ in these ways:

1 the ability to hold or contain people or things or the largest amount or number that can be held or contained

2 the ability to do something : a mental, emotional, or physical ability

3 usually official position or job or role

Adjacent to CAPACITY, is the word CAPABLE.

‘Capable’ is defined as:

1 having attributes (such as physical or mental power) required for performance or accomplishment

2 having traits conducive to or features permitting something

3 having legal right to own, enjoy, or perform

4 having or showing general efficiency and ability

One can be capable of something yet lack the capacity for it — a hard thing to understand, learn and accept about oneself.

Earlier this year I was offered a professional role that I am eminently qualified for — I am truly capable of doing the job at hand. But as I got in deeper and deeper into the work, flexing muscles that were producing valuable outcomes, I began to feel some familiar-but-unwelcomed emotions: anxiety, nervousness, trouble sleeping, a sense of being trapped or falling short, and limited by the commitment.